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Thursday, July 03, 2008

In DC we celebrate independence by crapping on the 4th Amendment

I’ve been following the internet backlash against Barack Obama pretty closely for a week or so. The issue, which seems to be getting a little traction in more mainstream media, boils down to Obama’s quick reversal on several issues soon after he locked down the nomination.

Some of these reversals are the expected policy tweaks that all presidential politicians make when they secure their party’s nomination. It’s common knowledge that our election system requires candidates to cater to their party’s base in the primaries and then move toward more centrist positions in preparation for the general election. Those of us who hold more progressive political opinions may not like this practice, but we understand that it’s a sometimes necessary action if we ever want to win an election. We understand why Obama wants to temper his rhetoric on something like gun control, but some reversals are simply too big to swallow. Obama's change of heart on recently debated FISA legislation is an example of such a reversal.

Salon's Glen Greenwald is doing a great job of keeping track of the developments in this story , which essentially boils down to:

- Obama used to think that the Protect America Act was a bad thing, particularly the parts of it that allowed the government to conduct surveillance of whoever it wanted, with little or no oversight. He thought this piece of legislation was so bad that he voted against it's original enactment, and had stated that he would filibuster any attempt to renew it.

- Obama now supports the Protect America act as the best deal the Democrats can get, even though they control both houses of congress and the current administration's policies in this arena are incredibly unpopular. One other important piece of information - if this legislation expires, the old FISA legislation becomes the applicable statute. This law was good enough to get the U.S. through the Cold War.

- Obama's campaign portrays this switch as a pragmatic piece of compromise that will ensure the protection of Americans from terrorists while portaying the candidate as 'tough on terror'.

This flip angers and frustrates me on so many different levels that it's hard to catalog how I feel about it. There's the familiar disappointment with a political leader revealing himself as a 'politician' and the feeling of being betrayed by a candidate I believed to be something new and different in politics. There's disgust at the rhetoric Obama is using, which steals heavily from the Republican party line. My biggest problem with Obama's FISA position is that he's stomping all over the 4th Amendment, ostensibly to win an election, and his actions are more likely to cause him to lose.

Republicans don't win on national defense because Democratic candidates have bad defense policies. Republicans win on security issues because Democrats will abandon their 'principles' at the first sign of conflict. Dukakis, Mondale, Kerry...the list of Democratic losers on the national stage is filled with politicians that sought to fit their ideas to what they thought the people wanted as soon as Republicans began to wave the patriotism banner around. I thought that Obama was different in this respect, and on a larger scale, he may still be; but his behavior with respect to the FISA debate makes me think that the same mindset that tanked previous campaigns is at work here.

I can't understand why Obama is reversing his ground on this. The same forces that allowed Democrats to suddenly find their collective spine and win congressional elections in 2006 are still at work, and may even be stronger. Aren't independents and 'centrist' voters ready to hear that the Bush doctrines that stated, "you can have individual freedoms or safety, but not both!" are wrong? I think so. I used to believe that Obama thougt that too. For those keeping track, this is exhibit 786 in the case for me not being very smart.

John Kerry came out of his primary campaign with the same kinds of polling leads Obama is currently enjoying over John McCain. Then he started to adjust his positions to make himself more palatable to voters. He ended up looking like a slightly more craggy version of Michael Dukakis, milquetoast and without conviction. It's early in the election, and maybe I'm just feeling a little bit of buyers remorse, but I don't think so.

I have a suspicion that the McCain campaign has been watching this all unfold with a sense of expectant glee. They're all going to sit down to a campaign meeting the morning after the FISA bill passes, and they're going to be all smiles. A senior aid is going to turn to McCain with a look of smug satisfaction and say, "See John? I told you that they'd make the same mistake." And then they're going to dust off and pass around the same play book that Republicans have been using to win national elections for 30 years. "Please turn to Chapter 1: Reinforcing your opponent's image as a waffling pussy."

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I'm shocked, SHOCKED to find GAMBLING going on here!

No one that has been paying attention for the last eight years is surprised by the ‘revelations’ contained in Scott McClellan’s new book, but major news outlets like the Washington Post are tripping all over themselves to make McClellan’s insights front page news. The headline of today’s on-line edition of the Post reads, “Ex-Spokesman: Bush Mislead Public on Iraq.” Incidentally, the stories below the fold were: “Water is Wet”, “U.S. Economy: Been Better”, and “Men Think Scarlett Johansson is Attractive.”

The Post even lacked the testicular fortitude to lead without attributing the assertion to McClellan in the headline, which is unsurprising considering how little the paper did to question the rationale for the war in the first place. Would anyone other than administration flaks have made a ruckus if the headline had read, “Bush Lied to the Public about Iraq”? Instead, the Post took the approach of, “Listen, we’re not sure, and we don’t want to cast stones, but this Scott McClellan guy said that Bush may have been a little less than truthful about that whole Iraq War deal.”

The response of the press to McClellan’s tell-all illustrates a key point made in the book. McClellan states that far from being too liberal, the press was deferential to the administration as it made the case for war in Iraq. The collective “My goodness, isn’t this a development” uttered by the journalistic establishment shows how loathe the press has been to do their job.

The way the rest of this story will play out is easy to predict. The administration will trash McClellan on the morning shows, right wing bloggers will make excuses, and the main stream media will forget about the whole thing in a week. None of the really important questions will get asked. Instead of trying to hold the administration accountable, news outlets like the Washington Post will spend ink cataloging the he-said, she-said between McClellan and administration surrogates. Then in a four or five months when another one of these insider accounts is published we’ll go through the whole thing again, still wondering why everything is so screwed up.

But hey, at least Scotty is getting paid for keeping his mouth shut when he could have had a real impact and then suddenly finding his balls when someone waived a book deal in his face.

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Dear God Is It Over Yet Haiku


Today at the polls,
More important than the war,
Snipers or Preachers?

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Friday, April 25, 2008

I Miss Jed Bartett Too

Why is it that the only time I have any faith at all in democracy is when I watch a fictional portrayal of it on TV?

I just finished watching the last episode of HBO’s “John Adams”, and I have come to three earth shattering conclusions because of this mini-series.

1) John Adams, and everyone in his family, had really horrible teeth. I dig that HBO was striving for historical authenticity and I respect that the producers didn’t go the route of having the 18th century colonials in the series look like they just finished a weekend at a Palm Springs spa; but I spent more time considering the magnitude of halitosis that Adams’s cabinet had to contend with than I did thinking about the relevance of the Alien and Sedition Acts in today’s terror obsessed society.

2) Thomas Jefferson was kind of a prick.

3) This country will never, ever, again have leaders that care more for the well-being of the country than for their own advancement/power/ego.

Listen. I’m not naive. Okay, I’m a little naive, but I know that all of this country’s “Great Leaders” have all been real people with flaws and personal agendas. I’m not saying that the Founding Fathers were infallible, or that FDR was a god, or that Reagan was a pleasant dullard who has been unjustly elevated to the status of icon by a group of necrophiliac, revisionist, partisans, who wouldn’t know a good President from Dick Nixon. Actually, I am saying that last bit.

What I am saying is that somewhere in the last 40 or 50 years, the pursuit of national politics, be it Congress or the Presidency, has become the goal in and of itself. Very few good men or women bother with the highest levels of government. This isn’t news to most, and I don’t blame the people that could do good for the country for not submitting themselves to the 12th circle of hell that is running in a big time election. I wouldn't do it, even if there weren't a glut of incriminating pictures of me in the hands of several untrustworthy friends.

Everybody’s heard the line that may or may not have originated with Alexis de Tocqueville, “In a democracy, the people get the government they deserve.” I happen to believe this. It's just too bad that we the people suck it soft most of the time.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Keith Olberman - Kind of Pompous, But Kind of Right

He may be a little over the top with his bluster, but I thought this clip from his show last night hit a lot closer to the mark than I did. I may be falling for a cheap trick, but I also dig the hat tip to Murrow at the end of his rants.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Geraldine Ferraro - Has been and hypocrite

There are lots of angry words directed at former VP candidate and Hillary Clinton supporter Geraldine Ferraro flying around the interwebs right now. I couldn't in good conscience refrain from adding a few of my own.

Ferraro made a statement to the Daily Breeze yesterday, putting forth the idea that Barrack Obama wouldn't be in the presidential race if he were a white man. Where to begin with this one?

Let's start with the hypocrisy. Ferraro was a congresswoman for nearly 5 years before being tapped as Walter Mondale's running mate. Obama was elected as a U.S. Senator in 2005 after serving for seven years in the Illinois State House. I can only assume that her remarks cut to the argument that Obama isn't experienced enough for executive office. If that's the case, then neither was she. In point of fact, her relative inexperience came up during the VP debates, to which she responded;

"Well, let me first say that I wasn't born at the age of forty-three when I entered Congress. I did have a life before that as well. I was a prosecutor for almost five years in the district attorney's office in Queens County and I was a teacher. There's not only what is on your paper resume that makes you qualified to run for or to hold office. It's how you approach problems and what your values are."

That's a really good point, and her resume sounds similar to another minority running for elected office. The only difference 'on paper' then, seems to be that she's a white woman and he's a black man. Her point must be that nobody is going to vote for Clinton because she's a woman. But that doesn't hold water, either. Gloria Steinem, a pretty prominent voice of feminism, wrote in a NY Times editorial, "I’m supporting her because she’ll be a great president and because she’s a woman.”

Okay. So if Ferraro had roughly the same level of experience as Obama when she was running for the second highest office in the country, and Clinton very obviously has supporters that are following her because she's a woman, than what exactly is her beef with Obama's popularity?

I agree that experience plays a role in preparing an individual for assuming the mantel of President, but only to a degree. It's not as if there are many jobs that accurately predict success when presented with the responsibilities of commanding the most powerful army in the history of the planet, managing a stumbling economy in the face of increasing globalism, and trying not to get caught getting head from interns. So voters have to focus on experience in the absence of good predictors of success. But, here's the thing, there are plenty of predictors of success for Obama that go beyond a list of accomplishments and positions.

Hilary Clinton has had every advantage over Obama in this race. She had an established organization due largely to Bill's previous elections, more financial resources, the backing or party insiders, an air of inevitability provided by the media, and her husband was the president. It's not like she's some insurgent candidate that was given a raw deal by the press and never had a chance to get her message out. But in the face of all this, Obama is getting people to follow him. Seems to me that having followers is a pretty good indicator of leadership ability.

Look, I agree that Obama's race may help him in some circle's. Whether that has to do with some people being able to relate to him, or believing that it's time a multicultural country like the U.S. had a little diversity at the top, or because he makes people believe in 'The American Dream' is really not germane to the issue. Race and Gender are important in this race, but with the economy struggling and our armies fighting in Iraq, I think that you would have to work pretty hard to find a voter retarded enough to be following either candidate based solely on identity politics. Obama is winning this race because people believe that he can best lead the country, and I happen to agree. Race and Gender will be a bonus for some people, just as it will be a negative for others.

If Geraldine Ferraro or anyone else supporting Clinton thinks that Barrack Obama is doing as well as he is because he's a black man and for no other reason then I'm not really surprised that they are losing to him.





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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Same Team! Same Team!

By now, most of the really interesting stories regarding the Democratic nominating race have been thoroughly analyzed, dissected, re-examined, picked clean, and been left in a ditch to be gnawed at occasionally by journalists that have run out of things to say about a beagle winning the Westminster Dog Show. The 'new and interesting' stories receiving prominent placement in political media center on Barrack Obama's plagiarism of a politician that gave him public permission to use his words and an argument over the number of ideal debates in this election cycle being twenty or twenty-one. It's fair to say that political reporters should either get lost or provide some meaningful analysis of the positions proposed by the candidates in question.

Obviously I am not a political reporter. I am a blogger, and an undisciplined one at that. I'm allowed rant and rave. I can re-visit political discussions long since settled for no other reason than I feel like it. I'm allowed to swear. Fuck. A real journalist, or even a relatively respectable blogger would never have been able to do that, and I just did it for no reason at all. I'll do it again, because it's the word that keeps popping into my head when I start to ponder this election at any length. Fuck.

Not to long ago, everyone believed that the Democratic nomination was going to be decided by Iowa and New Hampshire. Maybe if we were really lucky, the whole thing wouldn't be wrapped up until South Carolina. This was seen as a bad thing. 'Why, O why do we not let the voices of all Democrats be heard!?!' was the cry of teachers in Wisconsin and pipe-fitters in Ohio. It turns out that there was an exceedingly good reason for keeping decision making powers out of the hands of rank and file democrats. We're fucking idiots.

The field of potential Democratic nominees, with the exception of Chris Dodd and Dennis Kucinich, was one of the deepest in recent history. From this field of foreign policy experts, democratic populists, and immensely qualified former senior executives we have narrowed it down to the least experienced candidate and least electable candidate we could find. In addition, we've split the vote for these two right down the middle, all but ensuring an ugly nomination and groups of dispirited partisans among the losing candidate's supporters.

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm all about Obama, and up until about two weeks ago I would have happily cast a vote for Clinton against John McCain. But in the last few weeks I've begun to understand why my father, who has been a staunch Democrat his entire life, maintained such disdain for the Clintons. I was not a political animal in college. This ambivalence was partially due the unflagging national prosperity that at the time I viewed as an accepted fact of American life, but mostly I was just blind drunk a lot of the time in college.

In any case, I never internalized the evidence of the Clintons' less appealing political personality traits during Bill Clinton's Presidency. But when the Clinton campaign began to make noises about seating the banned delegations from Florida and Michigan, my perception of Hilary Clinton as a good second choice began to flag. Stories have begun to leak out of her campaign hinting that Clinton plans to sway pledged Obama delegates to her side, should either candidate fail to win the necessary votes for nomination.

We're not talking about the oft-publicized super delegates here. If this thing is close, she means to ignore voters and attempt to convince elected delegates to join the dark side.

I want my nominee to be tough enough to stand up to Republicans in the general election. What I don't want is a nominee acting like 'That Guy' in a game of pick-up basketball, so focused on personal glory that he (or she) throws elbows at his own teammates underneath the basket.

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Super Tuesday Haiku







Obama? Clinton?
Noteworthy either way, but
At least Mitt is through

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Huck Off Mike

If someone of the disposition to read this blog is following the Republican primaries, I suspect they are doing so in much the same way I do. You sit transfixed in front of you laptop or television and absorb reports of ongoing Republican campaigns with a combination of glee, terror, and stark disbelief.

Glee for the continuing implosion of the Republican party, terror at the prospect that one of these half-wit demagogues might have a chance at the presidency, and disbelief that the country at large has not shouted candidates like Rudy Giuliani and Mike Huckabee off of the national stage.

I’m not going to get started on Giuliani other than to ask a simple question. If I happen to be standing next to my house when it goes up in flames, does that qualify me to be a fire-chief?

Today I want to focus on Mike Huckabee, who is apparently in favor of turning the United States into a theocracy. Huck is against same-sex marriage and legal abortions. No surprise there. He’s a Republican and that’s their bread and butter. The surprise is how he justifies amending the Constitution to outlaw these acts. Huckabee said at a recent campaign event in Michigan:

"What we need to do," he said, "is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than trying to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family…it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God."

I’m no expert, but I’m not sure that basing public policy on the living word of God is the best way to go. First of all, who gets to be the arbiter of what the living word of God is? Second, God’s views on the flat tax and free markets have been shown to be highly suspect by a number of reputable economists.

Huckabee's a southern preacher, and he’s got a distinct set of policy ideas, which is fine. The problem is that he has no sound and rational argument for why outlawing same-sex marriage and abortion is sound public policy. He can’t tell people why this will make America a better place. ‘God says so’ stopped being a solid basis for democratic decision making a long time ago. If he can’t summon something more than an arbitrary moral compass to justify his platform, then he needs to go away.

And I think he will. The U.S. is still predominantly a Christian country, but no Christians I know embrace the kind of evangelical governance that Huck supports. While I may not be a Christian, the Christians I know (and who are probably reading this now) have too much decency and too much respect for their God to use him as a political lever and a thinly veiled excuse for bigotry. Outside of a few misguided folk that vote heavily in Republican primaries and are badly in need of a dentist and some diversity training, people of faith don’t go in for this kind of crap.

I for one would love to see Huckabee get the nomination. He might learn something about mainstream Christianity while he was getting beat like a gong.

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

An image from the past














Something very similar to Tiananmen Square is on the verge of happening in Burma right now. I thought this image was timely.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

Remember when I said I was tired of election stuff? I lied



I'm still not sure how he's able to run on what happened in NYC on 9-11.

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Be careful if you have a wide stance

I'm no great fan of our national elected officials, the Republican brand in particular, so the travails of Senator Larry Craig would normally inspire a healthy amount of schadenfreude. It's not that I enjoy the thought of homosexuals getting busted for being gay, quite the opposite in fact. If you want to cruise the picturesque bathrooms of the Lindbergh Terminal in Minneapolis or Union Station in D.C., I believe that is you god given right.

You probably shouldn't actually be copulating in there, though. I don't want to hear it while I'm trying to use the bathroom with out touching any fixtures, and copulation participants should be concerned with the cleanliness of the floors in addition to the cleanliness of their partners.

But whatever. Where you're going at it with another consenting adult is not really the point here. I'm more concerned with the fact that Senator Craig runs with a gang that's bread and butter is carrying around a big sign that reads 'God Hates Homos.' When your campaign contributions and votes come from the same sort of people that beat Matthew Shepard to death, you don't get to hang out in the 'gay' bathroom at the Minneapolis airport without someone calling hypocrite on you.

My first reaction to another Republican Senator engaging in behavior that was clearly gay while stridently declaring that he was as straight as the Marlboro man was to realize that Freud was right about a couple of things. But after the initial joy over another conservative hypocrite getting caught trying to bash gays in bathrooms in between bashing gays in the Senate I had a realization. This guy didn't really do anything wrong. Unless I'm drastically misinterpreting the available information, Craig didn't even get to the good parts of this Slate article before he was arrested.

Craig was arrested for tapping his foot underneath a bathroom stall. To my knowledge he didn't offer anyone money. He wasn't actually engaging in a sexual act when he was busted by an undercover cop.

According to USA Today's account of the police report, "At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. ... Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times."

Can they really bust someone for that? Swiping his hand underneath his bathroom stall? What if he was just out of toilet paper? Can't somebody spare a square for Senator Craig?

I'm far too lazy to look up the actual statute that supports this charge, but unless he actually 'presents' himself, as Christopher Bean of Slate so eloquently put it, this really isn't much different than the time I made kissing gestures at the cute girl sitting next to me in traffic.

So instead of doing cartwheels over another member joining the 'Mark Foley Club for Sexually Hypocritical Legislators' people should be considering the fact that you can get arrested for taping your foot in the bathroom.

Think about that the next time you've got a song stuck in your head and nature calls.

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Monday, July 23, 2007

YouTube debate to change Presidential Politics...or not

Tonight the contenders for the Democratic Presidential nomination will participate in a nationally televised debate co-sponsored by CNN and YouTube. The questions to be answered by the candidates will be submitted via YouTube video clips. This new wrinkle has been generating some publicity on mainstream news sites, but I’m not convinced that this new approach is more than a gimmick that has been latched onto by a press corps already bored with a marathon primary campaign.

On the surface, generating questions from the YouTube community seems like a great idea. The American electoral process could certainly benefit from additional public interest, however it’s generated, and this format might motivate individuals that would not normally pay attention to an early primary debate to tune in. But are people interested enough in the YouTube brand to turn on a debate? I clicked over to the YouTube homepage and was surprised by how little promotion for the event I saw. I expected a banner ad to be plastered across the page, highlighting the key role YouTube was playing in the American electoral process. Instead I found a small sidebar ad, halfway down the page. It was below an ad 4 times its own size, asking users to create a ketchup ad for Heinz. The lack of advertising on the YouTube sight may not matter, as on-site advertising is probably unimportant to the live viewership numbers. I have a suspicion that the type of person that is likely to be attracted to an event by YouTube sponsorship is just as likely to avoid the televised debate and watch short outtakes on the site.

Aside from what effect the YouTube tie-in may or may not have on public interest, another issue with this format is the inability to ask follow-up questions. Any candidate that has ascended to this level of politics, with the possible exception of Chris Dodd, will be prepared for any of the canned questions offered in a debate. The only time most candidates show anything approaching candor is when answering a follow-up question after they’ve already expended their talking points. Removing the circumstances that force candidates to express actual opinions reduces the debate to little mare than kabuki, which is what some people already see them as.

The implied benefit of publicly produced video questions is that the questions may be more likely to address what are seen as valid issues instead of lobbing softball questions that candidates can easily dance around without ever answering. Whether or not candidates have a say in which questions are finally aired, these videos will be just as carefully selected as any other debate questions. Whether generated by e-mail or the League of Women Voters, these questions aren’t going to suddenly reflect the national tone. Real spontaneity and candor is not going to be achieved in these debates, and video taped questions are not going to change that.

Creative questions from the YouTube community might make for more watchable television, which won’t hurt the effectiveness of the debates in the long run, and the use of video may provide some added emotion or context that could elicit a more honest response. Both of these consequences of YouTube generated questions would be positive, but the likelihood of their occurrence is doubtful at best.

There are, however, two cases in which the YouTube debate could make an impact on this race. If some image from one of the videos goes viral it could draw attention to a particular issue, or to the race as a whole. In one previewed video a woman suffering through cancer treatment is asking a question pertaining to the health care system and removes her wig to reveal a completely bald head. If an image like this gets stuck in the collective consciousness then people will remember the YouTube debate as having an effect on the 2008 elections. This seems like a real possibility to me. I can foresee someone that submitted a particularly clever or eye catching video getting 15 minutes of internet fame and parlaying that into some real focus on their issue during the campaign.

There is another, more entertaining, possibility. Amateur video can be a tricky medium to analyze. I wouldn’t want to be the censor scouring these images for something truly subversive. The possibility that some enterprising auteur sneaks in the web address for Nader 08’, or a site devoted to sheep porn is pretty real. Something offensive could sneak through based solely on how sheltered some of the censors might be. I for one would love to see Hilary Clinton try to answer a question about immigration reform that was asked by someone standing in a room full of obscure bondage paraphernalia.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Here, read these

There are times when I see an article or link that I feel like writing about, but then I realize that I'm lazy and I'm not going to have time for a lunch break. This is one of those times.

- I've only been to four of these events, and I'm ashamed to admit that the U.S. Pond Hockey Championships is not one of them. [101 things all sports fans must experience before they die] from the World Wide Leader

- Doesn't have a chance. The only thing that scares border state conservatives more than brown people is brown people with expanded labor rights. [Hitting a wall on immigration] from Salon.com

- And here I thought Hitchens was Rage Boy. [Look forward to anger] from Slate.com

- Prepare for the necropalyspse! [The Last Stand] from Free Web Arcade

- I don't really have a joke for this, but a list of all the bad things the C.I.A. was up to in 1973 is pretty sweet. Only 700 pages though? Ok, maybe a little joke. Good stuff starts on about page 5 after clicking the 'Family Jewels' link. [CIA 'Family Jewels'] link from BBC on-line

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Won't someone think of the children?

This Washington Post Op-Ed decrying the scare tactics of environmentalists trying to raise awareness about global warming was written by Emily Yoffe. As near as I can tell, her environmental research qualifications are limited to having written the Dear Prudence advice column for Slate.com. I had a hard time pinning down the actual opinion she is supporting, but she made the following points in her Op-Ed:

- Al Gore believes that the threat we face from global warming is very serious.
- So many people agree with Gore that according to Yoffe, "An Inconvenient Truth is going to be shown in schools...a children's television show is planned...[and] Live Earth concerts on July 7th are expected to raise millions.
- Yoffe agrees that it may be getting warmer and that changes to our environmental habits are 'commendable'.
- We shouldn't scare children by discussing these issues in the public arena or, presumably, in schools.

Alright, so the last point is technically an opinion, but she does a poor job of supporting it. Also, it's an idiotic opinion. Yoffe seems to believe that the best way to avoid terrifying kids is to pretend that whatever they are afraid of doesn't exist, or to sugarcoat the root cause of their fear to the point where they aren't afraid of it anymore. While this may be a bang-up strategy when dealing with the boogey-man, I don't think that making sure your feet are not hanging off the edge of the bed is going to keep the ice caps from melting.

Here's a novel idea, why don't we tell our kids that global warming is real and can have real consequences. That way when you spend the money for that trip to Disney World on a big screen TV you can tell the kids that you're only trying to reduce green house emissions by not flying. It's win/win. You get a TV and the kids get to believe they won't burst into flames at the park.

Since I don't own any children myself, I was wondering what all of you breeders out there thought about this. Am I wrong? Should we, in the words of W, be concerned about what are children is learning about global warming?

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Problem Solved

While watching the only slightly over-rated “Letters from Iwo Jima” a few nights ago, I had a sudden insight about the way our government is fighting the war in Iraq. It was so simple and fair that I was amazed it hadn't been thought of already*. The U.S. government should be issuing war bonds! Instead of allowing future generations of Americans to pay for the war in Iraq (plus interest) in the form of the national debt, we should be paying for this war as we go.

The administration misses no opportunity to compare the current war to World War II, and it’s nothing short of a complete marketing blunder to miss this crucial product tie-in. Instead of patriotic Americans spending $2.99 on a yellow-ribbon car magnet to demonstrate their patriotism and support for our fighting men and women, they could purchase genuine %100 authentic U.S. War Bonds. With easy-to-manage-on-any-budget minimum denominations of $1,000, I’m sure that the %30 of the country that supports George Bush would buy as many as 6 or 7 of these things.

Consider the myriad ways that money could be spent. With $7,000 the frugal bargain hunters at the Pentagon could buy any of the following…

- 2 M-16s

- Personal Body Armor (partial set)

- 10 pairs of combat boots

- 20 MREs

- 30 gallons of gas

And so on…

I read a fairly broad cross section of news and politics, including quite a few conservative blog summaries, and it really surprises me that I haven’t seen more outcry from conservative news sources and blogs asking the federal government to issue war bonds. Of course, in order for war bonds to make fiscal sense these bonds would have to produce extremely low yields, but buyers would be investing in America and supporting the war at the same time. What god-fearing, patriotic, conservative American wouldn’t jump at the chance to do that?

So let me be the first to sound the call. We need War Bonds. Once all of the patriotic Americans like Sean Hannity, Michell Malkin, and Ann Coulter have put their money wear their mouths are, there will be no need for the President to request another supplemental funding bill.

*My apologies if some patriotic conservative is already advocating this. Is it you Ollie North? I'll be it is.

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Monday, March 05, 2007

We interupt your regularly scheduled snark...

For the past few weeks, Hilary Clinton has been dancing around the technicalities of whether or not she is sorry that she voted for the Iraq War Resolution. This seemingly small, press-driven, mini-scandal perfectly encapsulates why I’d vote for Jessica Simpson before I’d nominate Hilary to represent the Democrats in the 08’ election.

Hilary has made several statements that seem to hint at her regret for voting in favor of providing the President with authorization for the use of force in Iraq. But she refuses to come out and say as much. On the surface this issue is trivial hair-splitting, the equivalent of Bill Clinton defining ‘is’, and unworthy of such media attention. But if you dig a little deeper her unwillingness to apologize for something widely recognized as ill-advised hints at how far she is willing to go to protect her image of toughness.

Fact #1 - Women are perceived by many voting Americans as being the weaker sex.

Fact #2 - Democrats have been painted as soft on the issue of national defense since the Carter administration.

Fact #3 - Hilary Clinton is a woman (pretty sure, the jury is still out on the whole cyborg thing) and a Democrat (technically).

When I accepted these facts I came to the conclusion that Hilary might be more dangerous than the current President when it comes to foreign policy. Consider the following scenario; Hilary is elected and inherits the Iraq War from the previous administration. Bush obviously has no interest in leaving Iraq and being labeled as a cutter and/or runner, so whoever wins in 2008 is going to have it dropped at their feet. If it’s Hilary in the White House, she’s going to be forced to act against the better angels of her nature. It will be impossible for her to pull U.S. soldiers out of Iraq, even if it becomes obvious to everyone but Joe Lieberman that the troops need to come home. She’s simply too afraid to be painted as a weak woman and Democrat, and as a result, she’ll lack the toughness to make any kind of concession.

I can see this playing out in any number of other geographical hot spots. Despot A makes inflammatory remarks, Republican mouthpiece B says that Clinton is weak if she does nothing, first female president C overreacts and weakens the standing of U.S. in the global community. Rinse and repeat as necessary. That's why when the time comes, I'm casting my vote for the Japanese guy from Heroes.

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Your Democratic Presidential Contenders: May the least worst win

Here's a handy primer on the individuals that want to be your Democratic nominee for the Office of the President of the United States of America:


Joseph Biden – Senator from Delaware

Pros: Experienced legislator with strong foreign policy credentials, has been in the Presidential spotlight before (88’).

Cons: Makes a John Kerry speech seem concise and to the point. Thinks Barrack Obama is the first clean black person to become a public figure. Winning Delaware is nearly as pivotal to becoming President as carrying Alaska. Didn’t do so hot the last time ran.


Barrack Obama – Senator from Illinois

Pros: Smart, clean, also fresh. Doesn’t wear ties very often. Lack of Washington experience means that he can run as a reform candidate.

Cons: Middle name is Hussein. Lack of Washington experience might mean that he has no idea what the hell he’s doing.


John Edwards – Former Senator from North Carolina

Pros: Is the son of a mill worker or something, has experience as both a Presidential and VP candidate, has good hair.

Cons: Has been totally slacking off since 2004, spending most of his time eating cheetos and watching reruns of the West Wing on Bravo. Still curls up in a corner and weeps when he thinks of the ass kicking Cheney gave him in the 04’ VP debates. May not actually be a Kennedy.


Dennis Kucinich – Congressman from Ohio

Pros: Um…

Cons: He’s f-ing crazy.


Hilary Clinton – Senator from New York

Pros: Raised $300,000 in the time it took me to write this sentence. Her campaign will have an air of inevitability if she does well in the early primaries. Who doesn’t want to see Bubba running around the White House for four or eight years with no responsibilities and a wife too busy bombing stuff to keep track of him?

Cons: Nobody can stand her. Is having a hard time triangulating her stance on the whole Iraq War ‘thing’. May be a cyborg.


Chris Dodd – Senator from Connecticut

Pros: Isn’t Dennis Kucinich.

Cons: Connecticut is no Delaware. Eyebrows don’t match whatever the hell he has on the top of his head.

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Monday, February 05, 2007

Random thoughts with some guy that isn't Jack Handy


- The Super Bowl is barely over, and I’m already thinking about baseball season. The World-Wide Leader reported today that the Twins have signed Justin Morneau to a one year, $4.5 million dollar contract and Yahoo! Sports reported that the Twins are negotiating a potential contract extension with Joe Mauer. That’s the good news. The bad news? The Twins are likely to lose Torii Hunter and Johan Santana at the end of the season, sooner if the Twins are out of the pennant chase and decide to unload them for 30 cents on the dollar. I’d be amazed if they were able to keep one of them. It’s bad enough that they’ll be leaving, but I have this awful feeling that Johan will be moving down batters in pinstripes after he leaves the Twins.

- Speaking of the Super Bowl, when is the NFL going to move this thing to Saturday night? Not only would this improve the game as consumer product, it would also help the United States economically. First, you would have the increased bar revenues that would come from having people stick around the pub after the game instead of fleeing home to guzzle gallons of water and chew Excedrin. Second, you would have a tremendous increase in productivity in the workplace; fewer workers with hangovers, less idle chatter around the water cooler, fewer people squeezing one last drop of football blood from the internets on the company dime. Someone needs to make this happen. I’m looking at you, Terry Tate.

- The Senate. What a bunch of ninnies. These 100 men and women are supposed to be helping to run this country. Right now they’re arguing about whether or not they are going to possibly open debate over a non-binding resolution that may or may not express opposition to the President’s escalation of the Iraq War. Maybe if they actually craft this resolution they could deliver it to someone that has the power to act on its sentiment. If only there were are branch of government that were supposed to serve as a check on the President’s power. Someone that had the authority to somehow take action if they really disagreed with the conduct of the war. Someone that could decline to fund additional troop increases if they felt strongly enough about the matter to really stick out their collective necks. Too bad the framers of the Constitution didn’t think to create a branch of government to serve that function. My 7th grade civics teacher was wrong. Thomas Jefferson was a moron.

- I’m digging on my new PlayStation 3. I’d write some kind of full review, but there is a limit to the level of my inner dork I’m willing to share with the general public. For now I’ll say that the pros include the wireless controller, stunning graphics on a good HD TV, and tremendous potential to introduce some creative and unique games using the system’s superior hardware. For the cons; the initial release didn’t have many great games and the near future doesn’t look any more promising. The built in WiFi is tricky to get working on certain network configurations. Also, the thing was friggin’ expensive. The cost of the system, a game, an extra wireless controller, and the HDMI cable came to more than what I paid for the motorcycle I rode in college. In addition, I’m pretty sure that its causing my electricity use to increase drastically. When I turn on the PS3 it makes a sound like a Ghostbusters proton pack heating up and the lights dim in the house. Energy efficient this sucker is not.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

State of the Union Haiku

The State of our State?
LBJ, Nixon might know,
Twenty-Eight is low

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