I was in Las Vegas for a bachelor party recently and upon returning from this long weekend three truths regarding the existence of a place like Las Vegas occurred to me;
1. Las Vegas might be the city most representative of America in the U.S.
2. The “Disney-fication” of Las Vegas is changing the city into an image of how Americans expect Las Vegas to be.
3. Statements 1 and 2 are in no way opposed. In fact, they are related.
Truth #1: Las Vegas is representative of America
Tourists in Las Vegas are the physical manifestation of how Americans would act everyday if social morays and basic concern for physical well being were tossed out the window. This is not a particularly original idea, but that doesn’t make it any less true. If it were socially acceptable, most people would engage daily in the kind of hedonism that makes Las Vegas so popular. Think about it. Who doesn’t want to eat too much, drink too much, and chase a shot at the big score while being surrounded by members of the opposite sex possessing those attributes most prized in members of the opposite sex? That’s the core of the American Dream right there. Hunter Thompson knew what he was doing when he took his Easy Rider trip to Vegas.
Here’s a little anecdote that illustrates Vegas = America. One sunny afternoon in Las Vegas I found myself strolling down the strip with a friend of mine. We were more than a little drunk and since it was noon we were looking for a place to have a late breakfast. We wandered along, commenting on the strangeness of Las Vegas in full daylight and considering the hundreds of options we had for a truly exceptional brunch experience. Literally overwhelmed by the possibilities, we walked around until we became lost. Intoxicated, hungry, and disoriented, we found ourselves in front of one of the gigantic new malls that have helped to add shopping to the list of possible excesses that can be indulged in Vegas. Knowing that there was sure to be a food court inside, we went in and had cheeseburgers at Wendy’s. Bombarded by choice and excess we chose the least cosmopolitan and most familiar. If that’s not America, I’m not sure what is.
Truth 2: Because of the Disney Effect, Vegas is morphing into how people expect Vegas to be
Standing with my friend, waiting for the Las Vegas Monorail, I watched people line up to drive cars on a closed track next to the Sahara hotel. People were paying twenty dollars to take three laps around a track that was laid out in a configuration that was similar to the driver’s ed courses I’d navigated in high school. I expected to see Formula One race cars or at the very least some high end exotics, maybe a Ferrari or a Lamborghini. Instead the car that came off the line and swerved surprisingly carefully at the first turn was a new Cadillac. The next was a Pontiac roadster. I did see one or two Corvettes; but these were all cars that I could have rented by the day for little more than what people were paying to drive them slowly around a track. I saw no squealing tires, no near misses. With full coverage and the right stretch of Paradise Road, I’m fairly certain I could have pushed the performance envelope of the new STS harder than the people puttering them around the track.
So that’s what is being passed off as entertainment. Twenty dollars that could be spent on a couple of bourbons or a less-than-reputable dance, wasted on test driving your neighbor’s new car, brought to you by the same people that created the Tea Cups. Don’t get me wrong, you still have the requisite drunks and compulsive gamblers trying to experience a purist Las Vegas. But slowly and surely, Vegas is turning into a place that looks down on the guy with a beer in each hand wading through the fountains in front of the Paris Hotel.
Las Vegas has started to cater to this kind of thinking. We all think we want choice and excitement. What we really want is the familiar disguised as adventure. In Las Vegas there are dozens of really nice Holiday Inns that are disguised as the best hotel you’ve ever been in. Getting lost in the MGM Grand for two hours doesn’t mean that you are in an exciting and adventurous place; it just means that the most efficient way to keep people gambling is to make it impossible for them to leave. Most of the hotels are visually impressive based on their sheer size and the amount of neon used; they don’t really have much to offer in the way of architectural innovation. Vegas has always been about giving the people what they want, and what people want just happens to be the safe disguised as the greatest bachelor party ever.
Truth #3:
If Las Vegas = America
and
Vegas = Disney World; changing to meet expectations
then
America is slowly becoming Disney World
So not only is this kind of mentality destroying a city that used to stand for sin, drunkenness, and debauchery (all things I support 100%), its changing America into TGI Fridays. “Hey everyone, look at all the fun you should be having! Isn’t this re-creation of a small town main street in the middle of suburbia wonderful and authentic? I bet they have a suitably benign ethnic restaurant that we could frequent! Let’s go!”
But I still love Las Vegas. Where else can I wander drunkenly into a Wendy’s with a lit cigarette without being invited to leave?
Labels: I'm a drunkard, non sequitur
