I Ran From Cheney (a play in one act)
The setting: The Iranian presidential palace after the publication of this article. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sits behind his desk, working on a crossword puzzle. The Iranian Minister of Defense enters. He is obviously agitated, as evidenced by his disheveled appearance. His tie is loosened and his his beard looks as if it has been the victim of a very recent nervous tugging.
Minister of Defense: Your magnificent excellency, I must speak to you.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: What is a 4 letter word for 'erogenous zone'?
MD: Nose?
Mahmoud: Hmmm. Writes in his crossword.
MD: Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your daily crossword, but I have some important news.
Mahmoud: Really? Do you have an advance copy of the new Harry Potter? I really can't wait to find out who dies.
MD: No sir, this isn't good news. I have some information about President Bush. He's going to be undergoing a medical procedure on Saturday. A doctor is going to insert a camera into his anus.
Mahmoud: I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere about WMD, but I fail to see how this is bad news.
MD: Bush is going to exercise the 25th amendment.
Mahmoud: Is that the one that repeals prohibition?
MD: No. It's....
Mahmoud: Oh! Oh! Is that the one that limits marriage to one man and one woman?!? I've been studying the U.S. Constitution, I think I know this one.
MD: No sir.
Mahmoud: Alright. I give up. What does this one do?
MD: This is the one that modified the details of Presidential succession.
Mahmoud: I'm not sure I follow. Every idiot knows that Bush is not a very successful president.
MD: Your wonderful awesomeness of presidency, this is the one that says Bush can temporarily abdicate his authority as the Chief Executive.
Mahmoud: I'm sorry. You're not making any sense. What does that mean exactly?
MD: Bush is giving his Vice President temporary power over the Office of the President. Dick Cheney will be President of the United States for 2 hours tomorrow.
Mahmoud: Shit.
Minister of Defense: Your magnificent excellency, I must speak to you.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: What is a 4 letter word for 'erogenous zone'?
MD: Nose?
Mahmoud: Hmmm. Writes in his crossword.
MD: Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your daily crossword, but I have some important news.
Mahmoud: Really? Do you have an advance copy of the new Harry Potter? I really can't wait to find out who dies.
MD: No sir, this isn't good news. I have some information about President Bush. He's going to be undergoing a medical procedure on Saturday. A doctor is going to insert a camera into his anus.
Mahmoud: I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere about WMD, but I fail to see how this is bad news.
MD: Bush is going to exercise the 25th amendment.
Mahmoud: Is that the one that repeals prohibition?
MD: No. It's....
Mahmoud: Oh! Oh! Is that the one that limits marriage to one man and one woman?!? I've been studying the U.S. Constitution, I think I know this one.
MD: No sir.
Mahmoud: Alright. I give up. What does this one do?
MD: This is the one that modified the details of Presidential succession.
Mahmoud: I'm not sure I follow. Every idiot knows that Bush is not a very successful president.
MD: Your wonderful awesomeness of presidency, this is the one that says Bush can temporarily abdicate his authority as the Chief Executive.
Mahmoud: I'm sorry. You're not making any sense. What does that mean exactly?
MD: Bush is giving his Vice President temporary power over the Office of the President. Dick Cheney will be President of the United States for 2 hours tomorrow.
Mahmoud: Shit.
Labels: Blog Lit
posted by DC Viking at 2:01 PM
1 Comments:
Good stuff Maynard. Thanks for the laugh. Glad I was away from the news for a week.
~Nato
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