I've got yer Christmas cheer right here buddy
I would like to apologize to my loyal readers for the lack of content the last few weeks. Nate, Laura, I'm sorry.
Between a new project at work, finals, and this holiday season I keep hearing so much about I haven't had time to take a deep breath, let alone post to my blog. Not that I have the time now, but this little project is in danger of going the way of all my little projects if I don't force myself to update it, even when I don't have time. If it means that I'll have fewer moments to sit on the couch with a beer and turn my brain off, so be it. That's the kind of sacrifice I'm willing to make for my readers. If I don't, I could be down to reader, and we've got bills to pay around here.
Speaking of bills, I'm totally breaking up with Christmas. Boycotting the holidays crossed my mind, but by the time I committed to it the line of no return had been crossed. My mother had already started Christmas shopping, and what kind of total bastard doesn't get his mother a Christmas present when she gets him one.
So next year I'm going to start early. Around July I'm going to start dropping subtle hints, something on the order of, 'Gosh I love the 4th of July. There's a holiday you can get behind. Not like Christmas. Did you know that Christmas was originally a communist plot to destroy Woolworth's? Think about it. You don't see many Woolworth's these days."
I'll continue on this tack for a few months, laying the groundwork. Nothing obvious mind you, that doesn't start until Halloween. That's when the holiday boycott kicks into overdrive. Start telling people outright that I believe that Christmas has lost its meaning, go all Charlie Brown on their ass. Then just before Thanksgiving, I'll let my family know that I don't want to exchange presents, that their love and radiant faces are all that I need to warm my heart and hearth.
Then when I find out that my Mom bought me a present anyway I can run down to the CVS on Christmas morning and get her a bottle of mouthwash with a bow on it.
Between a new project at work, finals, and this holiday season I keep hearing so much about I haven't had time to take a deep breath, let alone post to my blog. Not that I have the time now, but this little project is in danger of going the way of all my little projects if I don't force myself to update it, even when I don't have time. If it means that I'll have fewer moments to sit on the couch with a beer and turn my brain off, so be it. That's the kind of sacrifice I'm willing to make for my readers. If I don't, I could be down to reader, and we've got bills to pay around here.
Speaking of bills, I'm totally breaking up with Christmas. Boycotting the holidays crossed my mind, but by the time I committed to it the line of no return had been crossed. My mother had already started Christmas shopping, and what kind of total bastard doesn't get his mother a Christmas present when she gets him one.
So next year I'm going to start early. Around July I'm going to start dropping subtle hints, something on the order of, 'Gosh I love the 4th of July. There's a holiday you can get behind. Not like Christmas. Did you know that Christmas was originally a communist plot to destroy Woolworth's? Think about it. You don't see many Woolworth's these days."
I'll continue on this tack for a few months, laying the groundwork. Nothing obvious mind you, that doesn't start until Halloween. That's when the holiday boycott kicks into overdrive. Start telling people outright that I believe that Christmas has lost its meaning, go all Charlie Brown on their ass. Then just before Thanksgiving, I'll let my family know that I don't want to exchange presents, that their love and radiant faces are all that I need to warm my heart and hearth.
Then when I find out that my Mom bought me a present anyway I can run down to the CVS on Christmas morning and get her a bottle of mouthwash with a bow on it.
Labels: rant
posted by DC Viking at 9:53 AM
2 Comments:
Don't go accusing me a nothin! I just buy it for the centerfold.. Read.. yeah right.
Ho ho hold the caustic rant on Christmas boy-o, you're just finally to a place where you can afford your own toys, and now gift giving is almost exclusivly about effort to figure out what to give people you care about. You're backlashing. Or you sat on a large candy cane pole.
You need to embrace Christmas as I d; revel in the post-Roman endulgent consumerism orgy that Christians haven't figured out defames their idol (who I am quite tired of depicted as Danish in appearance) rather than celebrates him. Oh and eat alot of heavy food.
Hmm this was more trenchant than humourous. Oh well, please forgive me, I'm blog-impared I guess.
Happy Christmahaunikwanzika!
~Nato
Agreed.
Christmas is hereby cancelled.
Meeting adjourned.
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